Speed Dating with Curvy Girls

I caught the short end of the stick...

...yep, they caught The Great One slippin'

Date Curves held a speed dating event this past Summer for the taping of the Curvy Girls reality show now airing on the NuVo TV and Hulu websites...the women outnumbered the men (as normal) at the event, and 3 of the 4 stars of the show attended...I saw some cuties at the event but didn't take any of them serious

Curvy Girls is pretty much the full figured version of Sex in the City that follows the lives of Denise, Rosie, Lornalitz and Ivory on their wild quest for fashion model stardom

What I DID know was that the camera crew taped the speed dating event for a reality show held @ The West 3rd Common in lower Manhattan NYC scheduled for a Fall release

What I DIDN'T know was that the show was gonna portray the guys @ the event as losers who weren't worth Lornalitz's and Ivory's time on some "lookin' for love in the wrong place" type shit

In all fairness, I trashed Lornalitz (she bored me) and Ivory (for BitchAssNess) when the camera crew interviewed me after my speed dating rounds with them...what's strange is that they picked me to post-interview about what I thought of the girls out of all the guys there...funny shit 

I thought Ivory and Lornalitz had IQs of cucumbers

What's fucked up is that the show edited out my roasting of them in the post-interview...Hahahahaha

Instead the producers, directors or whoever was in charge of the episode made it seem like the guys at the speed dating joint were flunkies and poo-butts (old school term for loser)

And you know what...

I took it like a sport

All in all, I had fun...would I do it again???

HECKY YEAH!!!

You only live once...and the "let's make these guys turn out to be losers" editing of the episode is funny to me and taught me a valuable lesson:

Never allow anyone control your image and how you're portrayed

Shit...I'm a good lookin' loser...the brother rockin' the grey suit with the matching hat is yours truly...Ivory and Lornalitz should've been lucky to inhale the same molecules I'm breathing

I'll fuck the dog shit outta Rosie and Denise, tho...they can get this work...real talk

I didn't see Rosie that night and Denise wasn't there

By the way...

...I wasn't serious in the segment with Ivory (I said my name was Ebony for cryin' out loud)...hell, I wasn't serious the whole night...it's a reality show...I was just foolin' around on some goof ball shit

It is what it is

*makes animal noises*

Go straight to the 15-minute mark of the show if you don't feel like watching the entire episode

Aight ya'll...I'm out

Peace

Nah'Sun the Great

P.S.

Shout out to the makers of Curvy Girls and everybody involved in the project for showcasing plus size/full figured women in a beautiful light...much love

P.S.S

Speaking of big girls...check out my interview with OOSA Book Club by clicking http://oosaonlinebookclub.com/?page_id=1737

Click here to watch the Nude Attitude episode from your phone if the video below isn't working

RECAP: Ms Full Figured USA Pageant Show

Yours truly...suited and booted

Abracadabra, my people

Theresa Randolph hosted the 23rd annual Ms Full Figured USA Pageant Show in Newark, New Jersey this past Sunday

Before I start, I wanna say Newark has to be the Black lesbian capital in the country…Combined with the past book signings I’ve done in Newark along with what I saw Sunday, I’ve never seen a high number of sistas who played for the other team in one area

Only in Newark where you’ll find a lesbian chick greet someone with As-Salāmu `Alaykum ("Peace to you" in Arabic)…Newark has a long history with the Islamic culture…so I guess that’s expected

I also wanna give a big FUCK YOU to the dumb niggas who double parked alongside the cars on Park Place…it took us damn near 2 hours to leave the joint because heads were too lazy to find a parking spot to hit up the lounge and club on the strip

You literally had a row of double parking on one strip…never seen anything like it

Aight, enough with the social commentary

The show was off the chain!!!…beautiful women galore…there’s nothing like a thick sista

The show started @ 6pm, and I got there a little bit after…the damn flash on my Canon wasn’t strong enough to take flicks in a dimmed room…I alternated between the Canon and my BlackBerry (my BBM Pin: 325CC038)

That sucked because while the BlackBerry has better lighting, the Canon has a better zoom

I still snapped some good flicks besides that

Of course you know I passed out bookmarks for Thick When the Chances are Slim…I’m pissed because A) I didn’t bring enough bookmarks and B) I should’ve waited to catch people at the end of the pageantry by standing at the exit 

I know what to do next year…the joint held at least 250-300 heads…a good sized ballroom @ the Robert Treat Hotel

Speaking of passing out bookmarks…

I was in a passive mood that evening for some odd reason…so I gave this slender, dread locked dude 20 dollars to pass out bookmarks…I figured I'll break bread with my brother...and guess what, I’ll NEVER do that again.

Homie said “This is light work” because he’d promoted before (that’s what he told me)…needless to say, dude didn’t finish the stack I gave him

Not only that, but dude was snail slow with passing out the bookmarks as if the hands of time were on crutches

And you know what, I’m not mad at him…it’s my fault…I should’ve snapped out of that shy shit and got on my grind like I usually do…I’ll charge that 20 bucks to the game and learn from that mishap

Oh yeah…you know I had to make money selling books…I sure as hell wasn’t paying for vending fees…LOL

That doesn’t make me cheap…I’m just smart with mines

I did some networking…met some new heads, and ran across a few heads I already knew

Mike, CEO of Bigger and Better Thangs Entertainment, interviewed me briefly during the show…much love for the quick plug for THICK

Besides a chick who couldn’t hold her liquor the event was drama free…of course you had thirsty dudes tryna holla…hey, I don’t blame them…a lot of the women in that piece were bad (bad meaning “good” for the ebonically challenged folk)

I don’t know what the hell women are eating nowadays because a lot of them were built like horses…real talk

The next big show (no pun intended) for the plus size modeling industry is Full Figured Fashion Week in June…you know I’m hittin that up to show my support for the sexy ladies...Ooooowwww!!! #TeamThick

Aight, ya’ll…I only selected a few flicks to post…enjoy them and the comments

Hugged up with the Lady Dove *muah*

From Left to Right: Me, Yvette, Andrene, and designer Lonnie Cisco

Takin flicks with Damaris...a supporter

Lampin with the ORIGINAL runway diva...Sharon Quinn

A past winner of the pageant...not only she's a cutie...she also has a phatty *wink*

Other past winners showing their support for their sistren

Ms Full Figured USA Pageant Winner

There were a few trophies handed out for different categories…I lost track…so I give a shout out to EVERYONE who won something

All I’m gonna say is that I didn’t take this picture for the models on the runway

Aight, ya'll
 
Peace
 
Nah'Sun

It's all about the Curves, baby

Ayo…
 
I’m falling back from blogging until I get at least to the midway point of THICK 2
 
I’ll only posting interviews, articles and reviews pertaining to the original THICK book…or when something drastic occurs
 
I got something new with the good folks @ Curvi Magazine…Curvi is pretty much an online magazine that highlights women and the plus size community specifically
 
They showcased ya guy in the author spotlight and gave THICK a quick review...enjoy
 
CLICK HERE FOR THE INTERVIEW

CLICK HERE FOR THE BOOK REVIEW

Kim Kardashian and the Power of the P.U.S.S.Y

“It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it” – Bahamadia from the song True Honey Buns

Famous for doing nothing is what drives today’s society. I’m not knockin anyone’s hustle. I say get it how you live. Just know the pros and cons of your actions.




If dudes are willing to trick off and handcuff broads because they’re under the spell of pussy power, there’s nothing I can do or say about it.

I pop my collar to any woman who gets what she wants even if I disagree with her methods.

Kim Kardashian is like the character Naeta Bug in my novel Thick When the Chances are Slim. Naeta Bug is the type of broad who’ll get paper by any means. She doesn’t mess around with low ballin dope boys. She strives for the big stakes.

The only difference is that while Kim fucks around with Black athletes and entertainers as an Armenian chick, Naeta Bug is a Black woman who fools around with white business owners.

“She don’t fuck with niggas. She only fucks with white boys with long money in the suburbs and up north.” – Rico (one of the main characters of Thick When the Chances are Slim)

As a single mother living in the ‘hood, Naeta Bug thrives in survival mode. Kim Kardashian’s father, Robert Kardashian, was O.J.'s lawyer. So you know she grew up with paper.




Would you consider Naeta Bug and Kim skeezers, or equal opportunists?

Kim Kardashian has game. The marriage between her and dude from the New Jersey Nets (his name escapes me and I’m refuse to Google it) was faker than a 3 dollar bill.

They showed no chemistry. None what so ever. And Kim STILL grabbed the media's and public’s attention like steel to magnets.

“I don’t respect tricks. I just respect that bread.” – Naeta Bug

Naeta Bug doesn’t care about the men in her life. She’s only out for the gusto. If that means using someone including family members to get what she wants, she’ll do it in a heart beat. And if you read the novel. She does.

Calling her a heartless bitch is a compliment.

Kim Kardashian and Naeta Bug don’t have any talent besides their looks. Sure, Naeta Bug knows how to do hair, but who drives luxury cars and rock designer clothes putting Yaki weave in someone’s hair???

While men get their power from status, women get their power from their level of attraction. And when it comes to Naeta Bug and Kim Kardashian, it’s the power of the P.U.S.S.Y 

 

“I got my own place, pushing a Beemer, and don’t buy none of my clothes. You should stick with the program.” – Naeta Bug

That’s poetry

No Strings Attached Sex

Before I start, I wanna say Heaven is between a woman’s legs

As your resident perfectionist, sometimes picking the RIGHT book cover design is a pain in the brain. Patience is a bitter plant, but it fruits are sweet.

This is the first draft of the “Thick When the Chances are Slim" book cover





My heart almost jumped out my mouth when I saw this draft. Then again, it’s called a ROUGH draft for a reason,

I gave the illustrator a picture and told him what I wanted. He took it from there…Shout out to Zachary Schoenbaum @ www.umbralust.com

After a few days he drew up this joint





I almost threw up my sandwich…I kept my cool and told him to go back to the drawing board…I needed something to give me a stiffy...whatever this was wouldn’t give a male nympho a hard on

He came back with this…




 
Not bad…I told him I wanted the swirly things…I also gave him some font styles and color designs for the cover

Due to peer pressure, I told homie to change it…so he did (he didn’t have a choice since I was paying him)

I wanted him to further draw out the woman’s tig ol biddies

 

I loved it, but I thought the highlighting of the reds were uneven. The reds should draw out a 2D figure of the woman

The women needed more curves and evenness

He drew…





The author title block at the top of the book is on point. So was the font and coloring of the title at the bottom

I showed the drawing to my peeps…they thought the woman looked “too manly”

Oh well 

I told him to play around with the cover…shit got worse 

After getting more negative views than a little bit, I suggested a more curvy woman

I actually thought about going with this one…heads STILL weren’t feeling it

Damn!!!…coming up with an eye catchy book cover drained the life outta me…well...almost 

So far, so good…I loved this one

But sometimes you gotta let go what you love for the greater good

My advisor told me I can do better…so I contacted Zach and tossed him so extra money to start the project over again

I really wasn’t feeling the blue background behind the red…something had to give





Red is the color of sex…I ditched the red and blue idea and went with the combination of red, orange and yellow

I also tossed him some ideas about the shape of the woman

The sketches you see above is based on a famous video vixen/magazine model…you’ll have to figure out the rest





A few modifications and touch ups later, we finally agreed on the cover what you see now

The WE included me, Zach, my advisors, and random people

They don’t call me the people’s champ for nothing

As you can see, writing a book is not just one aspect of publishing. At least when it comes to myself. I’m very precise about how I want things done

The steps of the book is just half of the process…I’m sure you got the gist of everything

Aight, ya’ll…I’m out

Peace

Nah'Sun

New York Authors and Their Crackhead Prices

Abracadabra, Sunites

Between writing Part 2 of the Thick series (shame on you if you didn’t cop “Thick When the Chances are Slim”), I’m droppin’ a weekly blog for ya’ll to sharpen my swords.

Without futher ado…I’m gonna chop off heads to kick off the insanity…I’m kinda pissed off right about now.

I’m going in on New York "authors" (emphasis on the quotations) who sell their books for $3 and $5 on the streets. They’re messing up the game for heads like me who don’t push their books for crackhead prices.

This is why the book game is so screwed up in the Rotten Apple. I know my worth, so I’ll be damn to short change myself just for some book sales.

Some people will say, “Established authors sell their books for less than $10, too.”

Newsflash…I’M NOT THEM…I know my worth…so if authors wanna sell their paperbacks for less than ten bucks and eBooks for 99 cents, that’s on them.

Selling my books for 3 dollars is a misrepresentation of my talent as a writer…my mama would slap me if I do some dumb shit like that…LOL

My thing is this…if you REALLY want my book, you’ll cop it for $15 (which is the average price for a paperback book for the most part).
 
How would you feel if you sold high powered marijuana only to see dudes selling bush weed and messing up the hustling game in your hood?
 
Not only that, but people accepting low-grade weed and bypassing yours just because “it’s too expensive.”
 
You’ll be pissed…I know I would.
 
That’s why I took my show on the road…a popular book vendor in DC REFUSES to sell books less than $15 because she doesn’t want to set the tone for selling cheap books in her city…she saw what happened in NYC, and she’ll be damn to let it happen in DC.
 
Aight ya’ll…I’m out like 2011
 
Happy New Year in Colored People Time fashion
 
Peace and Afro Grease
 
Nah’Sun the Great