Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Dumb Things That People Say to Authors

What’s crackin, grasshoppers???

I’m a firm believer that there’s no such thing as a stupid question…

…with a few exceptions

I’m annoyed at some of the shit that people say or ask when I’m on the grind. People can say the most irrelevant shit when it comes to my space as an author. I don’t say that to seem rude or uppity, but common sense should…well…be common

Questions like, “How long does it take for you to write a book?” DON’T bother me…neither does, “Tell me what the book is about.”

That means you genuinely wanna get to understand my art and its process

Is when people say shit like, “I’ll buy your book when I see it at the store,” irks me when they KNOW I have books on my person to sell

I’m gonna run down 10 things stupid shit people can say to an author…it’s more than 10, but I’m sure you’ll get the point

This isn’t a knock to my fan base because I have SMART readers…the dumb shit that people say are usually nosey folk with nothing else to do but waste my time

1. Do you have distribution?

It shouldn’t matter if I have distribution when you’re not a distributor

2. How many books you sold?

Book sales have nothing to do with the actual content of the story and its quality or lack thereof

3. Do I need an editor if I wanna write a book?

No need to explain this one

4. I wanna write a book

Yeah, sure

5. Do authors make a lot of money?

Write a book and find out

6. I’m sure you get a lot of girls writing books

I doubt women like me because I’m an author

If they do, they need to holla at Dr. Phil

7. Did you write this book?


8. Gimme the book for free


9. I’ll buy the book if it was on eBook 

I’m a firm believer that if you REALLY want something in life, you’ll go out your way to get it

I bought the GZA’s of the Wu-Tang Clan Liquid Swords album on cassette when the store didn’t have it on CD

10. Authors are the devil

I’m not kidding when I tell you I got that remark before


Before I get the “snobbish” remarks, put yourself in my snake skin shoes for a sec

Those questions and comments are similar to some dude asking you your favorite sex position on the first date, or a chick constantly talking about your bank account the first few minutes into the conversation

What the fuck does that have to with your character as a person?

Enuff said

I’m out

Peace and Afro Grease


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