She Showed Me Her Tattoo

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaack
 
Well…briefly
 
Last Saturday I needed to get out the house…the original plan was to bang out a few chapters of Thick in the Nick of Time…the warm weather made me lazy…and plus, I’m not the most creative person when I feel like I’m forced to do something
 
So I hit up the 12 Plus Entertainment party @ Diva Lounge in SOHO Manhattan (that means South Of HOuston Street for you Non-New Yorkers) 

Houston Street in Manhattan is not pronounced like the city “Use-Ton”…it’s pronounced “House-Ton”  

12 Plus is a promotional party for thick and sexy women and guys who love them…I swooped by and passed out bookmarks of THICK
 
As I passed out bookmarks, one thing I noticed is that older women are more likely to keep the bookmarks than women under 30…chicks under 30 usually just sit the flyers down on the table or drop them on the floor…I’m not offended by that because I actually had people pick up the bookmarks and hit me up on Facebook 

I just know NOT to give young broads bookmarks…even something simple as passing out flyers is a marketing strategy
 
I was one of the few dudes among scores of women at the party as Ke’Na, the promoter, was happy to see another guy come through
 
And once again, I was suited and booted


 
My get-up attracted this young lady playing poker on her phone by the bar…I eased up on shorty and teased her about playing games on the phone at the freakin club 


ME: What’s your name?
 
GIRL: Do you wanna know my model name or my real name?
 
ME: (looks at her with one eyebrow lifted) C’mon, girl. I wanna know your real name
 
GIRL: (gives me her real name)…my model name is Paw Print

 
Then she proceeds to show me her tat


 
Shorty from Jersey was bout it bout it with hers…no hate from me
 
She said there weren’t enough guys at the party (True), and she needed to keep herself occupied (False)…I say false because a party is what you make it unless it’s extremely wack to the 5th power…the 12 Plus party was good enough for folks to enjoy themselves
 
The DJ was on point and the drinks were good and cheap…we even formed a Soul Train line later in the night…NICE!
 
Paw Print would later show me the “lustful” tat on her thigh


 
Once again…no hate from ya boy…me likey 

I chopped it up her between the times I passed out bookmarks 

Dancing with this other chick I know made me miss a fight between two chicks by the front door

Make a short story shorter, these Spanish chicks came through the party and violated…one of them put up a middle finger in the background of a picture taken by another group of girls and all hell broke loose after that

That’s the story I got *shrugs*
 
Half the club dipped out after that scuffle…I don’t blame them…but hey, I wasn’t gonna let that ruin my night
 
I’ll hit up another 12 Plus party again…the promoters were cool peoples...a MAJOR PLUS...I heard the party that they threw last month was packed…that didn’t matter to me as long as I get out the house and inhale some fresh NYC polluted air

I hate crowded clubs anyway

Aight ya’ll…I’m out

Hotep!
 
Nah’Sun

Fuck you, bitch!

Abracadabra, grasshoppers
 
I finally decided to hit up the club last Friday after weeks of getting my hermit on…I haven’t clubbed in weeks…working on the second installment of the Thick series held my weekends hostage



Club Element in Lower East Side Manhattan was on my bulls-eye…4 years had passed since I partied at that spot…I personally think Element is the BEST Urban spot to party on Fridays
 
A lot of the women were BAD…bad meaning good for the slow folks…most of them stayed @ VIP and rarely ventured off...but some shorties weren't on point...especially this one I caught with hammer toes



Speaking of VIP, I saw 2 minor differences from ’08 to now:

A) The stage was now a VIP spot (turning every open spot @ the club into VIP is becoming popular in NYC…hey, I’m not mad at ‘em #MakeYourMoney)
 
B) You supposedly needed a wrist band to hit up the top balcony which they also turned into VIP (most of the females I saw hit up the top floor DIDN’T have on a wrist band) 


I started to hit off the bouncer with a 20 spot so he can let me upstairs into VIP…I changed my mind seconds later
 
Don’t get me fucked up…I didn’t wanna hit up VIP because of the women or feel important…I just didn’t feel like bumping into folks in the crowded ass dance floor
 

Suited and Booted

Sticking with my principles to not pay for VIP kept me grounded…I made the best out of staying with the crowd on the main floor

I used that night to “people watch”…I only talked to females when I passed out bookmarks…no game spitting that night
 
Matter of fact, I don’t like spittin good game @ females at the club on Fridays and Saturdays…most women who go clubbin those two nights are usually extra standoffish or just wanna party with their homegirls
 
I don’t have the time nor energy to play the game of possibilities when it comes to finding out if a chick is feeling me
 
Women are usually receptive to good game on Sundays or after work jumpoffs during the weekday…I play the background, get my sip on, promote my book a lil bit, and nod to the music on Fridays and Saturdays

You know dem boys lurked heavy outside the club with their Code Black lights flashing


 
Some things I saw during my people watching:
 

A) The usual thirstiness from guys tryna get dances from chicks by coming from behind
 
B) Most of the bangin’ chicks stayed in VIP
 
C) The Soca room downstairs (aka The Vault) were filled with thirsty niggas tryna grind on chicks (Not enough females in The Vault)
 
D) Either the DJs had identical playlists, or the same dude played the same songs twice (I didn’t care too much about the music…then again, I’m hard to impress)
 
E) Not a lot of chicks danced with dudes and rather kept with their circle
 

Let me expand on E…
 
It seems like young party girls nowadays don’t like dancing with dudes (if you call grinding “dancing”)…even when they did dance with the fellas, they only danced with them for a half song and jetted back to their clique…LOL
 
You usually find men and women dancing together @ clubs catering to the mature audience (ages 30 and up)…shouts out to my cougars that ain’t on that Hollywood shit
 
Now…here comes to the fuckery
 
I lost my coat check ticket for the first time in my history of clubbin…I left the dance floor after 2am to head home…I told the Black chick who worked the coat check that I lost my ticket
 
This broad gonna tell me to “wait til everybody gets their coats” before I can leave
 
I told her I gotta jet NOW…the other coat check lady went out her way to look for my jacket…shouts out to her for making an effort
 
The other broad just sat there…she wasn’t doing shit but sitting tryna look cute (peep the last pic of this blog for emphasis)
 
Trayvon Martin gets killed, and I can’t get a Black female to help a brotha find his coat and hoody (gotta love the hoody irony, huh?)
 
The white young lady, or light skinned Latina, who ALSO worked coat check went out her way to search for my things by re-arranging the coat check racks and standing on the folded two-step to look for my coat on the top rack
 
The Black chick STILL didn’t do jack...what kinda Willie Lynch shit is that???
 
I jetted to re-trace my steps and still didn’t find my blue coat check ticket…I waltzed back to coat check minutes later and started separating the coats that were in my reach in front of the counter


The lazy broad: You’re not allowed to do that
 
Me: It’s not like you helpin' me
 
(points to a coat that looks like mine)
 
I think that’s my coat right there!
 
The lazy broad: (takes coat off the rack)
 
Me: That’s my jacket. It got a hoody inside
 
The lazy broad: It has no hoody
 
Me: Unzip the coat. The hoody is tucked inside
 
The lazy broad: (looks inside the coat and finds the hoody…then looks at me funny as if I’m lying)
 
Me: That’s my coat! The hoody says The Burn U Movement in the back of it

The lazy broad: (checks the back of the hoody and sees the lettering) See, I helped you find your jacket
 
Me: You didn’t do a damn thing. I was the one who pointed out the coat!

 
Not only she was lazy, but she also tried taking the credit for finding my coat…she reminds me of that co-worker or classmate who takes credit for helping out on a project when she hardly put an ounce of effort into the work
 
There was hardly a line for coat check…I would’ve stayed until the 4am close if that wasn't the case...people came in fragments throughout the night

Hitting her off with a 6 dollar tip earlier that night capped off my frustration…I’m gonna decide whether I should tip coat check AFTER I get my shit from now on…real talk
 
I got my things and jetted
 
Not until I took the picture of the person who should be next to “fuckery” in the dictionary

Fuck you, BITCH!!!

Tips for Memorial Day Weekend @ Miami South Beach

“You don’t need to workout for South Beach…all you need is some money” – a chick I knew since grade school

I’ll get to the meaning of that quote in a second

Aight, people…Memorial Day Weekend is not too far away, and you know heads are anxious to hit up Freaknik…Ooops, I meant Urban Beach Week at either Myrtle Beach or Miami South Beach

I’ve never been to Myrtle Beach, so my focus is on South Beach since I’m familiar with that neck of the woods…promoters up north tend to promote their parties heavily in Miami during that weekend anyway

I might post some pics leading up to Memorial Day Weekend…but for now, let’s get down to the nitty gritty

Aight, back to the quote

Fellas…be prepared to come across chicks sellin’ ass…I’m not saying every chick in South Beach during that weekend is trickin’, but best believe a good number of them are…I came across chicks who probably wouldn’t trick in their hometown hit up South Beach to get their hustle on

Here’s a quick convo with a chick I met on Collins Ave

 
ME: What’s up, sexy? You enjoying yourself so far?

CHICK: Yeah, it’s cool

ME: So what you on right now?

CHICK: I’m here with me and my girls

ME: Cool…I wanna kick it with you tonight

CHICK: I’m gonna be honest with you, baby. I’m down here hustlin’…no less than a hundred

ME: (walks off)

 
What’s funny is that I overheard some loud ass dudes in a room across from mine chit chattin about broads stressin' them to pay for the wet box

Now, for all the homies who don’t live by the “It ain’t trickin’ if you got it” mentality, I’m gonna give you some tips on how to AVOID giving up cash for ass…let’s not get things twisted…NOT every female in South Beach are on some trickin’ shit…you just gotta know how to find those who ain’t on that

I wanna get that out the way before the lovely ladies start screamin on me for generalizing

The majority of hustling chicks loiter on the MAIN STREETS: Ocean Ave, Collins Ave and Washington Ave

Avoid those strips like the plague if you wanna catch you a good female without trickin

Hit up the BEACH and the CLUBS for the NON-trickin honeydips…I say the beach and the clubs because:

 
A) Hustling chicks aren’t trying to spend money @ the club…that’ll defeat the purpose of hustling, and

B) Time is money, and they sure as hell won't waste time gettin their lace fronts and yaki weaves wet

 
Plus, I’ve met some cool ass females on the beach and the club…I kept in touch with some of them as a matter of fact…the chicks who hit up the beach are the ones who wanna enjoy the moment

I even met a young lady who traveled all the way from London at the beach…LOL

The CLUBS you should hit up are Cameo, Mansion, Sobe Live, and Dream

The other joints are “okay”

Puffy had a party @ Dream where they let women in free…dudes had to pay a Benjamin to get in…needless to say, women dominated that party because you know dudes aren’t gonna spend that much bread to party in some club

Okay...I mentioned the women…clubs…and now let me touch on the hotels right quick

I stayed @ The Albion off Lincoln Road on James Avenue…the joint was dope…got some free breakfast tickets for each day of my stay…I grubbed on pancakes, omelets, turkey sausage, orange juice and some fruit...not that bagel and sweet roll crap that some hotels give out for breakfast tickets

The only bad part about the joint was the thin ass walls…other than that, the hotel is cool money

Luckily I didn't hear anyone fuckin' during my stay



Shout out to Nate, the desk clerk, for the hospitality…usually hotel clerks are straight up asswipes

Speaking of James Avenue, the other hotels/motels on that small strip between Lincoln and 17th street is hoodrat central…AVOID staying at The James, Cadet, and Crest…those are the bottom of the barrel spots

Oh yeah…The Albion had too many dudes and not enough women…another minus…I couldn’t hotel pimp if I was too lazy to go out

Most of the females I’ve come across and saw lounging around stayed @ hotels north of Lincoln Road on Collins Ave…spots like The Shellborne, The Seagull, South Seas, The Continental, Catalina and The Claremont had women galore

Loews Hotel is one of the most popular spots in South Beach, but that joint is REAL hood and they don’t allow guests…LOL

Avoid any hotel on Ocean Avenue between 15th and 5th streets. Ocean Ave is THE STRIP on South Beach…and trust me, you won’t get any rest unless you’re a bonafied party animal 24-7 

Ocean Ave in the evening

Hit up hotels off Washington Ave like The Clay and The Greenview if you wanna stay close to the party, but away from the chaos…those spots are good and inexpensive

I think that about sums things up…I’ll probably post another South Beach blog on a day leading up to the debauchery

One more thing before I breeze up outta here…there are MORE WOMEN than men @ South Beach on Memorial Day Weekend

So fellas…DON’T ACT THIRSTY!!!

Peace

Nah'Sun

Loungin @ the Savoy Hotel pool party

Skinny Bitches are Evil

Ayo…I wanna give a shout out to a supporter right quick…A sista whom I met awhile back when ya boy was out and about in NYC gettin his lounge on



Gi Gi copped my joint Thick When the Chances are Slim last week and supported a brother by not only purchasing a copy, but also posting the pic of the novel on Facebook

Her posting of the book infamously known as THICK has led to members of her friend’s list to either purchase a copy on the spot, or make a note to do so later on



WORD OF MOUTH is VERY crucial for independent authors such as myself…that’s the greatest promotion without coming out of pocket…real talk

It’s hard to turn book buyers into advocates especially when they don’t have any incentive

I don’t wanna get too sappy or sentimental…just wanted to show some appreciation to a supporter who looked out when she didn’t have to

Always remember….there’s a BIG difference between a buyer and a supporter

Buyers are reactive…Supporters are PROACTIVE

Marinate on that, grasshoppers

Aight, ya’ll…I’m Audi 5000

CLICK HERE to order your copy…I’m not gonna tell you why you should buy the book, or what separates my art from the rest…Just know I don’t half ass when I write

And that's the honest truth...RUTH!

Peace

Nah’Sun

Getting Over a Rejection for Dummies

Before I start, I just wanna say fuck the Giants
 
Hectic isn’t the word to describe this week.
 
From setting up radio interviews for my novel Thick When the Chances are Slim to interviewing others for the blog site and other things that don’t fit in a 24-hour span, there’s never a dull moment in the life of mine.
 
The weekend before this one I partied with the folks at Bigger and Better Thangs Entertainment…commonly known as BBT. They throw what many might call “big girl parties” in New York City.
 
The truth is that BBT parties at Abella’s, a restaurant/club located in lower Manhattan, is open to all shapes and sizes. The thick and sexy dominate BBT joints for the most part.
 
A comedy show kicked off before the partying. I skipped that. I wasn’t tryna hear ninja crack jokes
 
(“Ninja” is a fancier word for “nigga”…let’s move on)

The theme of the party was sports jersey night, particularly football. Fuck that. I got suited and booted.




 
This thick ass chick strutted out the club to her car. My crazy ass bopped toward her and told her to give me a hug.
 
And she did. Cool ass chick. I hate stuck up broads.
 
Turns out she's from Connecticut.
 
That makes sense...New York chicks normally wouldn't hug dudes they don't know out the blue.
 
Anyway...
 
We chopped it up a few seconds and I gave her a bookmark. She needed to change shoes and promised me a dance.
 
The dance was worth it…we took a flick together.





The long line didn’t bother me. I got inside 20 minutes after I got there. The bouncers denying the late arriving BBT promoters evoked a chuckled out of me. How do you get denied at your own joint?
 
Anyway...I caught my homeboy S tha Mogul leave the joint early from the side exit. He said the joint was bouncing. Hmmm…so I’m thinkin’ to myself, “Why the fuck you leavin’ so early?”
 
He was reluctant to tell me his reason…he claimed it wasn’t over a broad.
 
Oh well…more honeys for me.
 
Passing off bookmarks of THICK jumped off my first 15 minutes at the spot. I grind even when I’m supposed to relax. I saw this woman with an ass the size of Chicago waltzed toward the bathroom with her homegirl.
 
I waited in the hallway until she came out (I passed out bookmarks during that time)…I wanted to kick game at her.
 
Shorty came out and gave me the bullshit


 
ME: Hey, whassup? What’s your name?
 
GIRL (stops walking to turn around): (Says a name I forget)
 
ME: You enjoying yourself?
 
GIRL: Yeah, it’s okay
 
ME: Let me make you feel more than okay
 
GIRL: How you gonna do that?
 
ME: Give you all types of stimulation and good conversation
 
GIRL: How old are you?
 


Let me stop the dialogue right here.
 
Now fellas…whenever a chick asks you, “how old are you?” that means she’s giving you the Shit Test.
 
The Shit Test is when a chick asks you a question to determine whether she wants to deal with you. The “how old are you?” question is one of those.
 
I told her my age, and needless to say, she didn’t wanna fuck me with me after that


 
GIRL: I dated a young guy before. It didn't work out
 
ME: Me and the dude you dated are two different people
 
GIRL: What you do for work?


 
Aight…let me stop the dialogue again
 
Whenever a chick asks you, “What you do for work?” minutes into the conversation, that means 9 out of 10 times she’s a user. THAT particular question is the deal breaker for me.
 
I gave her a bookmark and briefly told her about my book amidst the loud ass music bouncing off the walls. I didn’t tell her that to please her considering I was promoting and spitting game at the same time. 



ME: I’m going to give you my phone number so you can get at me sometime
 
GIRL (puts bookmark in her purse): I’ll see you later tonight
 
ME: You better get me while the getting is good
 
GIRL: You better tell that to those fat bitches out there


 
Ouch!
 
Well…not for me…I thought her "fat bitches" comment was funny considering that some dudes might consider HER fat.
 
She switched that phat ass away from me like a rocking boat. I wasn’t hurt or sad at all. I’m seasoned enough to keep it moving. I wouldn’t even say it’s her lost because she never had me. She DID lose out on some elevation, though.
 
Now I’m gonna show ya’ll how to rebound from a rejection.
 
I saw this other shorty later on that night texting away on her phone. Poor fingers. They needed a break. So I gave them one.
 
She never saw me coming...I was straight guerilla on shorty...I stepped to her as her eyes latched on to her phone screen.


 
ME: Your phone ain’t right without my name and number
 
GIRL (laughs and leans toward me): How you gonna say my phone ain’t right without your name and number?
 
ME: Its just is. My name is King. What’s yours?
 
GIRL: Trina (yes, I actually remembered her name). How old are you? (gives the Shit Test)
 
ME: (I tells her my age)
 
GIRL: Okay, cool
 
ME (jokingly): Is that a problem?
 
GIRL (giggles): No, that’s not.
 
ME: Okay, cool. Let me give you my number so you can hit me up sometime


 
Then we exchange information. After we did that, I strolled off and did my thing.





You see, my people…don’t let a rejection fuck up your night…there’s PLENTY of fish in the sea….Michael Jordan didn’t make every game winning shot, and he STILL took those after missing them.
 
I danced and caught up with some familiar heads that night. What’s weird is that I don’t remember the songs the DJ played.
 
Then again, I think 98 percent of the music nowadays sucks ass. My subconscious mind did me a favor by allowing me to get my sip on while mingling.
 
The moral of this story is…
 
LIVE LIFE, HAVE FUN, AND DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
 
Aight, ya’ll…I’m out
 
Peace
 
Nah’Sun the Great