Friday, March 30, 2012

Tips for Memorial Day Weekend @ Miami South Beach

“You don’t need to workout for South Beach…all you need is some money” – a chick I knew since grade school

I’ll get to the meaning of that quote in a second

Aight, people…Memorial Day Weekend is not too far away, and you know heads are anxious to hit up Freaknik…Ooops, I meant Urban Beach Week at either Myrtle Beach or Miami South Beach

I’ve never been to Myrtle Beach, so my focus is on South Beach since I’m familiar with that neck of the woods…promoters up north tend to promote their parties heavily in Miami during that weekend anyway

I might post some pics leading up to Memorial Day Weekend…but for now, let’s get down to the nitty gritty

Aight, back to the quote

Fellas…be prepared to come across chicks sellin’ ass…I’m not saying every chick in South Beach during that weekend is trickin’, but best believe a good number of them are…I came across chicks who probably wouldn’t trick in their hometown hit up South Beach to get their hustle on

Here’s a quick convo with a chick I met on Collins Ave


ME: What’s up, sexy? You enjoying yourself so far?

CHICK: Yeah, it’s cool

ME: So what you on right now?

CHICK: I’m here with me and my girls

ME: Cool…I wanna kick it with you tonight

CHICK: I’m gonna be honest with you, baby. I’m down here hustlin’…no less than a hundred

ME: (walks off)


What’s funny is that I overheard some loud ass dudes in a room across from mine chit chattin about broads stressin' them to pay for the wet box

Now, for all the homies who don’t live by the “It ain’t trickin’ if you got it” mentality, I’m gonna give you some tips on how to AVOID giving up cash for ass…let’s not get things twisted…NOT every female in South Beach are on some trickin’ shit…you just gotta know how to find those who ain’t on that

I wanna get that out the way before the lovely ladies start screamin on me for generalizing

The majority of hustling chicks loiter on the MAIN STREETS: Ocean Ave, Collins Ave and Washington Ave

Avoid those strips like the plague if you wanna catch you a good female without trickin

Hit up the BEACH and the CLUBS for the NON-trickin honeydips…I say the beach and the clubs because:


A) Hustling chicks aren’t trying to spend money @ the club…that’ll defeat the purpose of hustling, and

B) Time is money, and they sure as hell won't waste time gettin their lace fronts and yaki weaves wet


Plus, I’ve met some cool ass females on the beach and the club…I kept in touch with some of them as a matter of fact…the chicks who hit up the beach are the ones who wanna enjoy the moment

I even met a young lady who traveled all the way from London at the beach…LOL

The CLUBS you should hit up are Cameo, Mansion, Sobe Live, and Dream

The other joints are “okay”

Puffy had a party @ Dream where they let women in free…dudes had to pay a Benjamin to get in…needless to say, women dominated that party because you know dudes aren’t gonna spend that much bread to party in some club

Okay...I mentioned the women…clubs…and now let me touch on the hotels right quick

I stayed @ The Albion off Lincoln Road on James Avenue…the joint was dope…got some free breakfast tickets for each day of my stay…I grubbed on pancakes, omelets, turkey sausage, orange juice and some fruit...not that bagel and sweet roll crap that some hotels give out for breakfast tickets

The only bad part about the joint was the thin ass walls…other than that, the hotel is cool money

Luckily I didn't hear anyone fuckin' during my stay

Shout out to Nate, the desk clerk, for the hospitality…usually hotel clerks are straight up asswipes

Speaking of James Avenue, the other hotels/motels on that small strip between Lincoln and 17th street is hoodrat central…AVOID staying at The James, Cadet, and Crest…those are the bottom of the barrel spots

Oh yeah…The Albion had too many dudes and not enough women…another minus…I couldn’t hotel pimp if I was too lazy to go out

Most of the females I’ve come across and saw lounging around stayed @ hotels north of Lincoln Road on Collins Ave…spots like The Shellborne, The Seagull, South Seas, The Continental, Catalina and The Claremont had women galore

Loews Hotel is one of the most popular spots in South Beach, but that joint is REAL hood and they don’t allow guests…LOL

Avoid any hotel on Ocean Avenue between 15th and 5th streets. Ocean Ave is THE STRIP on South Beach…and trust me, you won’t get any rest unless you’re a bonafied party animal 24-7 

Ocean Ave in the evening

Hit up hotels off Washington Ave like The Clay and The Greenview if you wanna stay close to the party, but away from the chaos…those spots are good and inexpensive

I think that about sums things up…I’ll probably post another South Beach blog on a day leading up to the debauchery

One more thing before I breeze up outta here…there are MORE WOMEN than men @ South Beach on Memorial Day Weekend

So fellas…DON’T ACT THIRSTY!!!



Loungin @ the Savoy Hotel pool party

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