Monday, April 16, 2012

If You Suck...We All Gone Suck (Lick-Her License)

Last Saturday I hit up a party in Newark, New Jersey hosted by BABS social club

BABS (short for Big And Beautiful) throw big girl parties on the East Coast…primarily in Jersey

The tailor didn’t have my new gray and blue pinstripe suit ready for the weekend…I was kinda tight…so I rocked the same shit I wore @ Club Element the week before and STILL kept my fresh on point

I breezed to Jersey with a homegirl who shall remain nameless to protect her guilt…I say protect her guilt because shorty doesn’t know how to hold her liquor…we’ll get to that later

We got there after midnight…and not for nothin’, the party was jumpin…the joint was WILD

A lollipop contest was held on stage…selected chicks had to get on their knees to suck these long ass lollipops between dudes’ legs…from a distance they were suckin dick, but nope…they sucked lollipops

Quite interesting if you ask me 

On Your Mark...

Get set...


I thought about not posting the pics…but fuck it…mad people flashed camera phones along with a film crew capturing the sucking contest

I snagged some footage of my own …I’m keepin’ that to myself…heh heh

Um...yeah...soooo...I made HISTORY that night in all my years of clubbin...

A) I didn't have the urge to drink to have a GOOD time

B) Baggin numbers from the honeydips isn't important as it was in the past

C) I didn't feel the need to dance with a chick to complete my night

And most importantly…

D) NO ONE said I looked like Neyo with the fedora (It gotta be the beard)

Maybe I’m turning a new leaf…or maybe I’m tired of doing A, B and C @ the club just to have a good time…sometimes sitting back and soaking in the scene is sometimes better than participating

I’m not a prude…not in a long shot…I just hate routines…I get bored easily

Now back to the lady friend…

After weeks of calling me a light weight, she drunk more than she could handle…I forgot what she drunk, but I knew the drinks weren’t Kool-Aid based on my reaction when she told me

Oh yeah…one of her drinks was a Long Island Iced Tea…she drunk more because she didn’t feel the initial buzz 

Um…everybody and their mamas know LI Iced Teas are silent killers

We left around 3 in the morning passing out bookmarks of my novel Thick When the Chances are Slim (still grindin’)

While passing out bookmarks, I saw dudes campaigning for numbers from women…some were mackish about their shit while others were thirsty as hell by cup caking

Cup cakin' means to hug up on a chick you barely know

After passing out bookmarks we drove back to NYC safely…she drove…I hate driving…not a lot of cars cruised on the streets and we didn’t get pulled over…she threw up during the last leg of the car ride before calling it a night

Watching women vomit from liquor is funny…especially shit talkers

Aight ya’ll…I’m Audi



Suck on

No comments:

Post a Comment